I found this really beautiful quote from a Vietnamese monk...

“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.” 

- THICH NHAT HANH (Vietnamese Monk, Activist and Writer. b. 1926)


This is why I believe everyone should tell their family story, because once one generation goes, it is so hard to piece together the parts that make our ancestors who they were. Yes, maybe we can delve deep and  find some brief details of their lives, but the heartwarming stories that only they know, are so easily lost forever. Their funny stories, their important moments and particularly, how they felt, are the parts that really enrich the  tapestry of life.

So if you want to ensure these wonderful tales have a chance to live on forever, encourage your parents or grandparents to tell their life story. Sit with them and help prompt their memories and record what they tell you.  You may be inspired to write their story for them - or get someone else to do it for you. Imagine what a wonderful gift it would be to help celebrate their birthday or wedding anniversary and what a unique present to hand on to future generations.

I'm feeling so excited because I've just stumbled across some really special things on the internet. First is an extract from the Supreme Court records in the UK from 1941 when my father changed his surname by deed poll from Renbom and Renbaum to Renbourn.

The second is a picture of him, which I have never seen before, with some of his close friends plus one of his former wives - before he married my mother.

The internet continues to blow me away with its ability to link people and spread information in a matter of seconds. And it makes me realise what an importart part we ALL play in history. 

It doesn't feel that long ago when the internet didn't even exist...infact I even remember life before televisision - now that's making me feel REALLY old! 

Medical studies are now proving that telling one’s life story can be beneficial to both mental and physical health. Reminiscing is therapeutic: the process helping to achieve an important sense of self worth.

While it’s beneficial for everyone as it's a way of connecting with others, it is especially so for older people and for those who are coming close to the ends of their lives.

Older people feel they are less able to contribute and as a result feel their lives are less fulfilling. Sharing their stories allows them to reflect on their life and help restore their self confidence and belief in themselves and their achievements. It makes them feel they are contributing something worthwhile that will help educate future generations. It also makes them feel better because it takes their mind off their current limitations and is particularly beneficial for those facing memory loss as it helps prompt past experiences and emotions.

For everyone it helps come to terms with any regrets while acknowledging achievements.  Everyone has life changing experiences in life – whether it’s moving to a new area, the death of a loved one or a serious illness. Recalling events that have impacted on our lives helps confront memories, helping us discover how their have affected our beliefs and actions and the way we view our lives. Sometimes events can hold us back from living life to its fullest, so recollecting can help us move forward and grow as individuals.

Sharing one’s life stories is important because humans are not meant to live in isolation. We all want to feel we have impacted on the world and on others. It is something we can contribute...to family members and those generations to come.

 And all this positivity is believed to help in resistance to disease. Research is going on around the world in exactly how life story telling positively impacts people, much in the field of palliative care. For several decades, psychiatrists who work with the dying have been trying to come up with new psychotherapies to help people cope with the reality of their death. One of the therapies they've come up with is life story telling.

The Lancet Oncology tells about Canadian researchers who discovered that terminally ill patients reported higher quality of life and a greater will to live after participating in "dignity therapy."

Dignity Therapy is a conversation with a trained interviewer about their life, feelings, memories and their hopes and dreams for their families. Recordings of the conversation are used to create an edited transcript given to patients that they can share with others.  In a phase one of the trial  68% of patients reported an increased sense of purpose and 67% an increased sense of meaning after taking part.

Behind dignity therapy is the idea of "generativity," which the study defined as the ability to guide the next generation, and how patients may be comforted knowing they are creating something that will last beyond their death.

Families of patients may also benefit from the production of the transcript, allowing them to reconnect or hold onto the words of their loved one after death.

 However, the therapy is most effective when a patient's answers are presented in written form. The written word can maintain its robustness throughout time. Some patients did not want their answers presented as recordings because their voice or appearance gave away their sickness, which they did not consider to be their true selves.

Likewise, the Journal of Palliative Medicine says another study by Michigan’s School of Social Work shows that family members who spend time creating a scrapbook with photographs or videotaping family stories can help lessen breathing difficulties of patients with chronic, life-limiting illnesses, increase the sense of meaning in their life as well as strengthen family bonds. 

As a result of this study, The Legacy Project has been set up, helping sick people tell their life story but this time examining the impact on both patient and family members. 

This following study, involving researchers at U-M and the University of Alabama, examined a family-based intervention designed to decrease care-giving stress and improve communication between patients and caregivers.  Participants were aged 60 or older, had life limiting illnesses and received  assistance with daily activities. The group received three  visits from an interventionist who worked with the family to construct a personal legacy, either a videotape recording or a photo album.  A smaller group received at least three support telephone calls, asking general questions of both patients and caregivers and expressed empathy.

Results showed that patients in this group became more talkative and more active than caregivers in working on the legacy activities while all caregivers reported reduced stress and depression.

This intervention assisted families and their ill relatives with a life review to help the ailing relative with stress, depression and denial prior to the person's death. 

According to the International Association for Hospice and Palliative care, Memory Work, a way of recreating life stories, is assisting the emotional, social, mental and spiritual needs of seriously ill children. Memory Work is based on life stories, and helps facilitate  preparation for death, loss and change. 

No doubt much more research will lead on as a result, but the results so far are exciting and hopefully will encourage more people to either write or record their own life story or chose to have it done for them.