I'm hoping we get plenty of rain this week so Saturday is dry and sunny for an outdoor wedding I am conducting. What makes it even more special is that there will be with five pageboys and five flowergirls ranging in age from three to ten. A young son is to give the bride away and the bride is wearing black, the bridesmaids white...
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I have some upcoming weddings where the attendants are very young - aged two and upwards. I think it's essential we do a rehearsal so the little ones can practice what they are going to do. But did you know using young attendants is quite traditional in the British royal family? At Queen Elizabeth II's wedding in 1947, there were eight bridesmaids, most younger than the 21-year-old bride. Diana had five bridesmaids, the youngest was 5. Kate Middleton took it even younger in her 2011 wedding, inviting her husband-to-be's goddaughter and Camilla Parker Bowles' granddaughter, both 3, down the aisle. At my daughter's wedding we gave the little flowergirls a toy bag each to keep them amused but they ended up having more fun filling their skirtsdresses with stones - and eating them! I love meeting new people - and have been privileged recently to meet several lovely young couples who want me to conduct their wedding ceremonies. And it's so special when they contact me after we've met and say how much they enjoyed meeting me too. One couple said there was no way they wanted anyone other than me to conduct the ceremony on their special day! I just adore creating a ceremony that is unique to the couple and which is just what they want. I am getting more pleasure out of making people happy than anything else I have ever done in my life - apart from bringing up my beautiful daughter of course! Historically Chinese brides were shielded from their future husbands until the ceremony with a middle man cementing the rather lengthy engagement. The parents of the prospective couple controlled the negotiations. Once a man found a woman he wanted to marry, the go-between would present gifts to the girl's parents. The auspicious nature of the match based on their birth date and hours would be reviewed as choosing a lucky time and date of the wedding ceremony. More recently my Chinese friends in Malaysia go through so many pre-wedding rituals - one that's the most fun, friends and family shielding the bride-to-be from her future groom. In some cases he is made to climb over the roof of her home, answer impossible questions from the girls and do incredible tasks before being allowed to be united with his fiance! I worked in Malaysia for many years and made wonderful friends with the Muslims, Chinese and Indians who live there. I just loved sharing in their customs and traditions. Particularly I loved the rituals around marriage which are so different to our own here in Australia. If you think it's hard to choose one wedding dress - imagine how hard it is for Chinese girls who normally have to choose three! The first is the traditional cheongsam and quite often red, a lucky colour in Chinese culture. Then they have a white, normally very elaborate, gown and then a dress, often cocktail style, to change into during the reception. Throughout history roses have held great significance. Monks tended rose gardens in the Middle Ages...there are references to roses in the bible and of course Shakespeare's immortal words were, "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." So no wonder some couples chose to include a rose ceremony at their wedding. Red roses stand for sacrifice and love. White roses represents pure spiritual love. A single white rose represents forgiveness and white roses in a bridal bouquet signify a holy union.Twelve roses is considered a complete cycle and therefore represents true love... while nine stand for eternal love. At weddings, engagements and renewal ceremonies it's a lovely idea for the couple to present each other with a rose - either white or red - as a symbol of their love. A lovely idea at a Renewal of Vows ceremony is to ask each guest to bring a candle and to write a one line wish for the couple's future. Then, during the ceremony, each guest lights their candle and reads out their wish...Then the couple can light a candle each and make their recommitment vows. If it's an evening ceremony all the flickering candles makes a dramatic backdrop for the rest of the ceremony. Nearly 30 years ago I got married - but 12 years later we split up. However it took us around eight years to finally fill in the divorce papers. We met up at a Thai restaurant halfway between our two homes and celebrated the form filling with delicious curries and a bottle of wine. I blame the wine on the fact we had to do this THREE times before we managed to tick all the boxes correctly! However they were certainly enjoyable evenings and the location turned out to be quite significant as my ex went on to marry a lovely Thai girl who is happy to share her culinary secrets with me - which saves on Thai restaurants! Another great way that helps a couple to move on after a divorce is with a Divorce Ceremony - a celebration of what was good during the marriage and a way to minimise animosity, helping ensure continued closeness between the couple, their children, family and friends. Anything that helps during the difficult divorce process is surely food for thought? Planning a small, intimate wedding and want all your guests to be involved? Then consider a wedding ring blessing. Before the exchange of rings, guests can be asked to bless the wedding bands or to fill them with love and positive vibes. They can be handed to someone in the front row, and ask for them to be passed around all the guests, until they come back to the front. Try to schedule this in during a musical interlude. If you like this idea but are having a lot of guests, you could consider asking just a select few people to hold and bless the rings. The last thing you want is for the rings to be lost amongst the crowd! |
AuthorRebecca Skinner is a journalist, editor and writer who is also a civil celebrant, committed to helping people cherish special moments in their lives. From ceremonies with a difference together with books of living memories as a unique memento - to writing life stories - she is the specialist in celebrating life's many chapters. Archives
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